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Fierce Loyalty

19 Feb

Celebrities.  I never understood the fascination of them, but I do have a theory.  Aside from the desire to marry some famous and rich person and have them know your existence, I see a fierce bond between their fans and them, even if it’s just a one-way street.  My sister, for example, would defend from the moon and back how amazing Justin Bieber is–something she wouldn’t do for some of her closest friends.  If you go on any artists’ videos on Youtube, you will see the typical tug-of-war between the crazed fans and the haters.  Why is this?  Why do we have such a drive to proclaim our loyalty to a person who has never talked to us personally, known us intimately, and cared for us the way our friends do?  My theory is that this fierce love for someone is usually frowned upon in society, when it’s between just friends.  I believe that we allow ourselves to show endless adoration for these celebrities, but if we showed the same degree for our significant others or friends, people will stare.  It’s apparently not normal to show that you love someone as fiercely as you do.  People call it clingy, psychotic, dependent, or just madly in love.  And while society may wrinkle their noses when they spy a couple too sickeningly cute, we also probably do this to save ourselves.  When we track our favorite celebrity religiously, we can never get rejected.  They live for the limelight, so the more people that know them, the better.  Their fame depends on their fans, so they welcome the thousands of Twitter followers and Youtube commenters while we thank them for lifting a finger and publishing a new song, movie, or clothing line for us to love.  However, if you replace the celebrities with the people in your life, things drastically change.  The person knows you, and can hold things against you.  You can get hurt for loving them too much, they’ll cut you off and banish you from their lives, and then you’d be at a loss for where to place the huge overflowing of emotions you have inside you.  These problems make us complicate love more than we need to.  Whether or not you “like like” someone, or just “like” them, I cannot even begin to fathom what kind of society has the right to tell you that you are not allowed to love whoever you want, that you cannot, and should not, show that you would be willing to give up your life for someone.  Can’t we just get on with life, and enjoy the fact that we can love at all?


Romance on V-Day

11 Feb

There’s this love-hate relationship about Valentine’s Day.  I have so many friends who will swear from the moon and back how much they abhor a day of commercialized romance, including my sister (pictured here), who used to once love it.  Forgive me for reminiscing, but there were those years where my sister and I went so OCD over little Valentine goodie bags, placing specific candies strategically in them, writing short and cute love notes, and arranging the bags perfectly for presentation to our friends.  Now of course, as she gets older, she jumps on the bandwagon to hate everything mainstream, which includes Valentine’s Day, thus bringing me to my rant.

I can understand how people can hate on Valentine’s Day.  What I don’t get is why people insist on hating the holiday, but continue to be a part of it every year.  If you hate Valentines Day, or any other gift-giving-holiday (read: Christmas), then just simply don’t be a part of it!  My roommate cannot make it more clear to me how much she hates Valentine’s Day, and yet she has given me a candygram and I spy a Valentine’s-themed cake mix and heart-shaped cupcake molds in her closet.  What I’m trying to figure out is why is it so hard to accept holidays for what they are? Nobody’s forcing anyone to actually buy something on Valentine’s Day, and if your significant other demands it, then you might want to reconsider your relationship.  It’s just as easy to show how much you love them with an inexpensive, at-home, dinner-and-movie night.

As a self-declared single, I cannot hate this holiday.  For one, hearts are cute and simple.  But maybe I do secretly like seeing people having a reason to show love or kindness to someone in their lives…and maybe I wistfully hope for something special to happen to me during these holidays.  Hey, a girl can dream.

I sincerely hope that when you approach Valentine’s Day, that you should embrace it for what it could potentially be–an ordinary day to show that you care for your extraordinary friends and significant other.

All’s Well That Ends Well

10 Feb

This is it.  I got into nursing school, albeit not a great one.  Indiana  University of Pennsylvania.  And to think that I decided to apply to this school at the very last minute and it became my saving grace.  This takes off of close to half of the stress a normal college student might come across, but of course, I have to continually push myself in hopes to get accepted to more colleges.  My drive to get the impossible A’s in my three science classes is crazy and wishful thinking, but it is the self-satisfaction I really want.

Honestly, realizing that I got accepted into a nursing school is scary.  I am only two years away from taking a test that will make or break my career, and after that, I will be thrown into a hospital where sick and vulnerable patients depend on the doctors and me to heal them.  I am barely piecing together my own life; what makes people think that I will be ready to save other people’s lives in two years?  What gives me the right to touch people’s lives in ways I never cared for, to see their families and friends at the lowest point in their lives, and to know intimately strangers that I will never see again?

Going to a new university will tear me apart from my friends, and I’ve never been good at keeping in contact with people.  Yes, with Facebook it is so much easier to drop a quick hello, but when I already have eggshell relationships with people here, how would I be able to strengthen them in an entirely different state? And by the time I get adjusted to the new school, I will be graduating with a feeling of detachment to the school where I got my degree.  I hate to admit it, but even with the rough and lonely first semester at University of Maryland, I’ve learned all the secret tunnels and the small quirks that makes UMD unique.  It went from a university I could not wait to get out of to one that I molded myself into.  Realizing that this is the last semester I will run across campus in my tights and heels against the cold weather does make me feel a bit sad.  Despite all the all-nighters I’ve pulled, the ignorance of many a student, and no strong ties to the university, there is an invisible compulsion that makes me love this crazy school.  And hey, I might even be getting my own radio station here; how crazy is that?  Please guys, be careful with life-changing decisions.  You may come to regret it later!

I’m alive, I swear!

12 Jul

Oh boy.  I’m sorry for that random dropped-off-the-earth act without warning.  I kind of got caught up in the end of the school year and plowed my way halfway through summer before realizing I nearly abandoned my pet project.  I apologize to my few readers who wanted to read more reviews!  You’ll get a review soon enough (hopefully tomorrow).  In the meantime, update on my life:

-Successfully completed my freshmen year at college.  (3.24 GPA; not too terrible)
-Volunteering gig at Johns Hopkins Hospital.  Pretty awesome stuff, considering that I’m working in the Emergency Department.
-Have NOT been able to reclaim my job at Michaels for the summer.  Boo.
-Taking summer classes because god forbid I actually have fun during the summer ^^
-I am on twitter!  Follow me here! My twitter isn’t dedicated to anime or live action, just my life in 120 characters or less.
-Despite outraged reviews, I watched “The Last Airbender” and guess what? I. DID. NOT. HATE. IT.  I repeat, I’m an eternal Otaku, watched the entire series of Avatar, and did NOT hate the live action movie.  Review will come later 😀
-Reconnecting with friends is ALWAYS a blast (especially if it’s over board and video games)
-Change in layout.  It’s still me, so if you were confused, don’t be! I think this is a cute layout & should definitely initiate change in my blogging.

So that’s the quick and dirty update on my life.  Anime and live action reviews will follow in the next couple days.  I apologize again for the months of nothingness!

A look back on 2009

15 Jan

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?: Saw Rocky Horror live, broke up with a boyfriend, went to college.

2. New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: Lose weight (as always).

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?:  No

4. Did anyone close to you die?:  Yes

5. What countries did you visit?:  None other than the good ol’ USA.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?:  A better self, and hopefully a better boyfriend.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why?:   December 23rd, because that’s when a part of my soul died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:  Surviving the first semester of college and finding the strength to live through my first break up.

9. What was your biggest failure?:  Not being independent enough.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?:  Usual heart problems.

11. What was the best thing you bought?:  Junior’s Cheesecake for my boyfriend.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?:  All of my friends.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?:  Him.

14. Where did most of your money go?:  Clothes.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:  Love

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?:  Thousand Miles

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?:  Sadder

ii. thinner or fatter?:  I think a bit thinner

iii. richer or poorer?:  Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?:  Studied more, been more independent, working on my story more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?:  Thinking.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?:  Saw Sherlock Holmes with a friend and slept over at her house.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?:  Was in love, and after our break up, more so than I ever  could’ve thought.

23. How many one night stands?:  None

24. What was your favorite TV program(s)?:  Castle, Vampire Diaries, Heroes, and Law & Order SVU.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?:  Yes

26. What was the best book you read?:  Jude the Obscure and The Time Traveler’s Wife.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?:  Apocalyptica.

28. What did you want and [receive]?:  College acceptance letters, a cellphone charm.

29. What did you want and not get?:  3.4 GPA, more time with my boyfriend.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?:  Honestly couldn’t tell ya.

31. What did you do on your birthday?:  Can’t remember.  Wow, I can’t remember my 18th birthday.  I think I spent it with my boyfriend.

32. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?:  Having more independence so I didn’t have to break up with him.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?:  Casual dressy.

34. What kept you sane?:  Friends, TF2

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?:  Johnny Depp

36. What political issue stirred you the most?:  Nothing.

37. Who did you miss?:  Him.

38. Who was the best new person you met?:  Everyone in Satanic Mechanics.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:  That it’s true that you never know the value of something until you have lost it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“Change is hard, I should know, I should know, I should know.”

A New Beginning

23 Dec

Today I broke up with my boyfriend.  Strange thing is, we’re both still very much in love with each other.  Why the break up?  Because I became too dependent.  I want to be free like a butterfly, and just as beautiful as one so that I deserve to have a great guy like my boyfriend.  We’ve been dating for four years, and today was our anniversary.  I’m giving myself a year to regain my sanity and see if I still love him.  If I do, should I go back to him?  If he finds happiness without me, then I’ll be happy that there’s another girl out there that is better for him.  If he doesn’t, maybe I will come back to him.  Maybe not.  This will be the hardest year for us…a year apart…and maybe forever.

This picture was taken at the Natural History Museum in D.C.  They have a butterfly garden, and this monarch was so pretty.

Sorry that this post is life drama.  I just needed to write a bit about it.  Have a happy holidays.

Happy Winter Solstice!

21 Dec

The most beautiful things in the world always get trampled by mankind…

It’s Winter Solstice!  And what better way to welcome the holiday with nothing other but snow?  We got buried today in a ton of snow.  Approximately 26 inches last I heard.  “It’s a December record around here!” the headline news point out excitedly.  When I woke up early Saturday morning, I was in awe of  the crystallized wonder that had accumulated outside.  In a couple of hours, however, mankind with their menacing and merciliess shovels and powered snow plows hastily shoved the snow into a huge pile up on the sides of the road.  The blanket of snow was no more.  Now it towered over as melting mountains, holding out to the best of its ability as salt is thrown on them and the sun keeps a close eye.  I was planning to take this shot earlier in the day, where the snow was smooth and the bench was sitting there, being buried in the snow.  But when I finally got outside about an hour later, my neighbor’s kids have made their mark as they used the bench as a safe zone for their snowball fight.  So much for priceless wonder.

Anyway!  So much for an introduction 😀  Hi, I’m Lucy, just your ordinary Otaku gal.  I’m currently a student at College Park and am currently on the path of becoming a nurse anesthetist.  I’ve always been meaning to make a blog, but I never really had a particular topic in mind, because I love many things.  I love reading, writing, gaming, cooking, and taking horrible pictures.  Like everyone else in the world, I would love to be nothing other than perfect, but I know that’s quite an impossible acheivement.  So what’s my blog going to be about?  I decided it’s going to be about life.  Not always my life, but life in general.  I will most likely be talking about the newest anime series I became addicted to, or my cooking project gone wrong.  And if you’ve survived my ramblings so far, congradulations!  Hopefully we’ll get along.